why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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