Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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