I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
