im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.