i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
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i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
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Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.