Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
