oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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