TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
