come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
