YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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