If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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