you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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