I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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