The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
