k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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