Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
