Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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