just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize