My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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