My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my being single is dangerous.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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