Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
