That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
we're so committed to being not committed
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
