I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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