u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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