I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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