:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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