haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
