I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Four minutes until I can fart!
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...