Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
