What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize