i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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