i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
