WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
