Plan B is the new Plan A
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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