I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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