pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
