my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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