I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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