i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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