Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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