Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Help. Why am I so naked?
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