party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
