I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
