Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
