Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
