my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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