I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
