What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
