my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
