Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
