weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
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You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
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Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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