I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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