what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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