You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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