@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
