it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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