Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize