I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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