they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I love you. Go after that dick
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
