Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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