Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
