There is no way he is gay with that hair.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
