I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
