fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
